A distinctly fishy problem

Here's the quandary - faced with the evil genius that is Tinned Sardines splattered all over the crotch of your trousers, five minutes before a meeting in a stinking-hot hospital boardroom, with people you hardly know, you have two options;

1) Clean trousers thoroughly with a wet cloth, thereby removing the stain and odour but entering the room with a dark, brooding crotch patch.

2) Make do with a dry, aesthetically preserving kitchen roll scour and allowing the aroma to ripen throughout the afternoon as the crotch warms in the seat.

To be fair, the nurses & medics hardly batted an eyelid. The psychologists on the other hand, who have probably never touched a patient in their lives, looked distinctly nauseated.