Tuesday, 21 October 2008

A distinctly fishy problem

Here's the quandary - faced with the evil genius that is Tinned Sardines splattered all over the crotch of your trousers, five minutes before a meeting in a stinking-hot hospital boardroom, with people you hardly know, you have two options;

1) Clean trousers thoroughly with a wet cloth, thereby removing the stain and odour but entering the room with a dark, brooding crotch patch.

2) Make do with a dry, aesthetically preserving kitchen roll scour and allowing the aroma to ripen throughout the afternoon as the crotch warms in the seat.

To be fair, the nurses & medics hardly batted an eyelid. The psychologists on the other hand, who have probably never touched a patient in their lives, looked distinctly nauseated.

9 comments:

Holly said...

One might suggest never eating sardines in public again.Anything that smells that bad is trying to warn you, anyway.

The Grocer said...

Easy to say with hindsight but you couldn have improvised, hospitals generally have lots of people not wearing clothes and said clothes stored in wardrobes, a fiver for rental would have covered it.

jamon said...

HA! The nearest ward was an all female unit - just picture that..

Perhaps you're right Holly.

stuart said...

Hah! the grocer has it spot on.. come on scott, dont try and tell us you've never worn womens clothes before!

the other option would be to go and buy a new pair of trousers, make a late entrance to the meeting, and be honest about why you are late, one sure way to get your name remembered by the big nobs, and for a better reason than "Scott, wasn't he the one who smelt of fish and had an oily wet patch on the front of his trousers? I think he fucks haddock.".

jamon said...

Cheers mate. As it happens, I have been known to fuck the odd haddock. Sometimes in drag

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