Tuesday 21 October 2008

A distinctly fishy problem

Here's the quandary - faced with the evil genius that is Tinned Sardines splattered all over the crotch of your trousers, five minutes before a meeting in a stinking-hot hospital boardroom, with people you hardly know, you have two options;

1) Clean trousers thoroughly with a wet cloth, thereby removing the stain and odour but entering the room with a dark, brooding crotch patch.

2) Make do with a dry, aesthetically preserving kitchen roll scour and allowing the aroma to ripen throughout the afternoon as the crotch warms in the seat.

To be fair, the nurses & medics hardly batted an eyelid. The psychologists on the other hand, who have probably never touched a patient in their lives, looked distinctly nauseated.

8 comments:

H. said...

One might suggest never eating sardines in public again.Anything that smells that bad is trying to warn you, anyway.

Gone said...

Easy to say with hindsight but you couldn have improvised, hospitals generally have lots of people not wearing clothes and said clothes stored in wardrobes, a fiver for rental would have covered it.

jamon said...

HA! The nearest ward was an all female unit - just picture that..

Perhaps you're right Holly.

Unknown said...

Hah! the grocer has it spot on.. come on scott, dont try and tell us you've never worn womens clothes before!

the other option would be to go and buy a new pair of trousers, make a late entrance to the meeting, and be honest about why you are late, one sure way to get your name remembered by the big nobs, and for a better reason than "Scott, wasn't he the one who smelt of fish and had an oily wet patch on the front of his trousers? I think he fucks haddock.".

jamon said...

Cheers mate. As it happens, I have been known to fuck the odd haddock. Sometimes in drag

Unknown said...

ninest123 16.03
cheap oakley sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, longchamp, louboutin, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, burberry, ugg boots, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, tiffany and co, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin shoes, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet online, ugg boots, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, replica watches, chanel handbags, gucci outlet, nike free, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, nike air max

Unknown said...

kate spade outlet, hogan, coach outlet, michael kors, sac longchamp, nike air max, nike free run uk, ralph lauren pas cher, longchamp pas cher, coach outlet, nike blazer, vans pas cher, nike air max, lululemon, lacoste pas cher, air max, burberry, kate spade handbags, michael kors, mulberry, michael kors, nike free, tn pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, hollister pas cher, louboutin pas cher, michael kors, abercrombie and fitch, air jordan pas cher, true religion outlet, ray ban uk, sac guess, hollister, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren uk, converse pas cher, replica handbags, north face, air force, true religion jeans, nike roshe, nike roshe run, timberland, new balance pas cher, hermes, vanessa bruno, nike air max, coach purses, ray ban pas cher, north face

Unknown said...

hollister, moncler, barbour, coach outlet, pandora charms, moncler, moncler outlet, moncler, ugg boots uk, wedding dresses, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose, moncler, ray ban, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, links of london, louis vuitton, doudoune canada goose, converse, canada goose, pandora charms, swarovski, karen millen, canada goose outlet, replica watches, thomas sabo, pandora jewelry, swarovski crystal, barbour jackets, bottes ugg, pandora jewelry, canada goose, vans, montre pas cher, converse outlet, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, moncler, marc jacobs, gucci, canada goose, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, supra shoes, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, moncler, toms shoes, lancel, ugg pas cher
ninest123 16.03