Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Avoid mirrors

I've often wondered what it is to be an adult. You know - what it's supposed to feel like and whether I've got it right. Because quite frankly, it wasn't how I'd imagined it to be.

When I was young, being an adult seemed to be a great thing to be. I imagined life to be secure, certain, stable and predictable. Which is far from boring I assure you, as this stability provides a fundament upon which you can be who you want to be. I assumed.

As it is, adulthood is a wholly different affair as far as I can discern. Life is just as scary as it was as a child, farting remains funny (despite what the teachers say) and even worse, no one tells you what to do anymore.

Which is scary.

I guess there are two main differences;

1) The stakes are higher

2) Predicting the weather gets easier

By this I mean one's mental map of the physical and social world is more detailed than it was as a child. My sense of the 'other' and what 'might be' has become more attuned.

So it's with this heightened awareness that I've come to appreciate my childlike dependence on those around me, and of theirs on me. So one must choose well.

In this respect I must have grown up, as I've chosen and been chosen by some wonderful people. At the top of this pile is my beloved.

May we all continue to be children together.

Predict the weather.
Anticipate the storm, please.
Keep the rain in sight.

Watch out for the sky.
Let's not get struck by lightning.
Seek shelter for life.

By Murph

12 comments:

The Grocer said...

Fine sentiments indeed, perhaps all those who seek independence should turn their attention to interdependence as been the higher aspiration?

jamon said...

Something I've said a number of times.

Hear, hear!

Stew said...

Garrgh! I left a comment earlier but Blogger bloggered it up!

I feel like a fraud as a grownup because in my head I'm just as uncertain and bewildered as I ever was as a kid.
I'm frightened that one day someone will see thru the facade and say "Hey! He's not a proper grownup. he's just pretending. C'mon, hand over your car keys"
It's only because my kids think I'm a proper grownup who knows everything and is full of confidence that makes me suspect we're all faking it.
What we need is a coming of age ceremony when someone can officially tell us - Right, you are now officially adult. You may now dress funny and talk bollocks with authority.

metalkpretty said...

Pssst...

The Misanthropic Mormon has updated!

jamon said...

LOL, I'm waiting for my comment to be accepted Metalkpretty.

jamon said...

I wonder if this is a man thing Stew?

Christy Lenzi said...

Well, I didn't like to be contrary...but I continue to think kids have it so much harder than adults. Of course kids have lots of fun, but don't you recall feeling the weight that comes of not knowing who you were, having everyone tell you what to do and how to do it, and having to rely on others for everything?

Kids don't have it easy all the time--their bullies don't cloak their words in politically correct language, or demand one's lunch money via forms and paperwork. If you stand out, you get knocked out.

I like knowing who I am and not caring as much what others think. As a kid, I would have longed for that ability. I like doing what I want and making my own rules. As a kid, I would have envied me.

And, although I did have fun being a kid, I like being a grown up. So shoot me! :)

jamon said...

I think we're agreeing more than you think Christy. As I said, "being an adult seemed to be a great thing to be..." precisely for the reasons you give.

Perhaps it's just me, but the adult world seems as much riddled with insecurity as the children's world. Just it smells a bit different, if you take my meaning.

Christy Lenzi said...

Oh. I guess I don't understand your meaning.

jamon said...

Sorry, perhaps a bit oblique there. I guess I was meaning that as an adult, I'm more sensitive to meaning and 'what might be' and that of the other.

The very fact I had little conception of this as a kid could be a root of juvenile anxiety perhaps?

Or maybe not.

Ahgh, now I'm confused....

I'll have a quick lie down...

Stew said...

Angst. Angst? You don't know the half of it. Angst is my normal state of mind. I worry, Christ I worry about everything.
None of it ever comes to pass of course, but I still worry. I just need THIS much of a push to take me into the Obsessive/Compulsive type of driving home to check if I turned tha gas off state-of-affaires.

We're in good company tho - I have only just dsicovered that Kierkegaard and others considered angst to be the normal human condition. I've treid to read up on it but it makes my small brain hurt.

jamon said...

Kierkegaard, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche....

The list goes on. Mind, I wonder whether we should be listening to these depressive introspectives ;)