I've screwed up. Through my propensity for openness, I've placed my wife in a position of difficulty. My error of judgement, whilst in good faith, has quietly reverberated since I made it, some months ago now.
Its potential lurked unnoticed until yesterday, when it was unleashed upon my unsuspecting spouse.
I feel guilty. Guilty as a Catholic to be frank. Yet I've had to resist the primary urge to punish myself. There will be ample time for that. Instead, I've tried to concentrate on making right what's been undone. Mending and patching where I can. Absorbing the concussion waves where I can't.
Now, if I were to tell you what this great crime was, and describe it in words, its power might be diminished. Shown for what it is - a mere triviality blown out of proportion.
The problem is, the world just doesn't work like that. Truths get blurred, pride gets bruised and perspectives lost.
A climb up The Holy Stairs on my knees, given the right mindset, could do me good.
"So let's get this right God - all I need to do is crawl up a set of stone steps and my sins will be absolved?"
"Yes, my Son."
No, I've opted for the harder path, the only true way; head down and a sincere apology. Learn the lessons to be learned and sort out what you can. This is my penance - real and painful.
Mind you, I think I'll vacuum the stairs tonight quite thoroughly. Just to be sure.
Nihil est miserius quam animus hominis conscius