Tuesday, 2 October 2007

A question for the boys

I'm no cuddly sausage. Snuggles are something I have to consciously initiate. That's not to say I don't enjoy them, particularly with my wife luckily enough. My male brain however, wherever it is in my body, always assumes it's a precursor to sex.

Honestly, I can't help myself.

Mind, I'm no cold fish. Against my male counterparts, I consider myself to be amongst the most emotionally literate. Yet physical contact isn't something I crave each moment of every day. I'd rather make 'brain contact' with my love. This gets me into bother from time to time.

You see, all the women I've ever 'known' have eventually said the same - "I don't know how you really feel about me..."

I've learned that for all my linguistic and musical abilities, there's nothing better than a squash against the kitchen sink to show your loved one how you feel. It beats any song or poem by a mile.

Miche deserves better than this, so I make sure I do my utmost. And each time I cuddle her, I get that familiar endorphin rush. We have the 'right thing' you see and are made for each other I think. Yet I'm doomed to repeated failure as I doubt I'll ever get it right.

Bedtime is a wholly different affair. Besides the obvious nuptials, I can't bear no physical contact. Be it a big toe, elbow, back or nose tip, I must feel her beside me. Otherwise I can't sleep.

So I wonder, am I a typical bloke and therefore on the autistic spectrum of 'extreme maleness', or am I different from the norm?

Now, I don't want to hear from those of you in the fresh beginnings of love, for that is a wholly different matter entirely. I want to hear from the blokes who've been with their missus' for some time.

Are you spontaneously overcome by the need to smother your woman with kisses each day, or is this a less frequent stirring? And if you are, do you just want to shag her when you do?

Perhaps those of the fairer sex who frequent this blog have an opinion on their own menboys?


Stew said...

This post is far too close to home, as I'm currently having one of my crises. For me shagging is a physical expression of love. If I don't get laid, I don't feel loved.
If you want cuddles, get a cat.

I'm not always this selfish. Again, If I'm laid regularly, I happily ish out the cuddles and kisses and luvviness. But if the shagging dries up, then the shagging is all I want. It's a vicious circle. The grumpier and more sullen I become, the less I shaggable I am. Obviously.

When I see the family sitcome sterotypes of the frustrated housewife whose husband doesn't make love to her often enough/long enough, I'm going to put a brick thru my telly.

Ah shit.

I'll get over it.

jamon said...

LOL - good to know I'm not alone ;)

Christy Lenzi said...

Oh, come on--this is no real shocker, is it? :)Do you really think other guys go around hugging and cuddling on their wives without hoping for more?

I think most women understand this tendency, yet it still remains a fact that many women need this sort of contact as much as a man needs the other. As Stew admits, it may be self-destructive in the long run for the man to ignore it or ridicule such a need ("get a cat!"). It would be the same thing as a woman flippantly dismissing a man's libido.

As for only making contact to get sex (I never hear the British word "shag" without picturing an old orange scratchy shag carpet--yuch! Who thought up that word?) I would liken it to a man who only gives his wife birthday presents that HE would prefer, like power tools, and ignoring the fact that although HE would rather not get perfume or flowers (or a book!) and hasn't a clue why she would, he goes ahead and gives her what she wants because he loves her and expects she would naturally do likewise. And, of course, when both are happy, much fun ensues....

* * * * *
I will be available again at 10:00 am tomorrow for another enlightening question and answer session entitled "Chocolate: Does it REALLY turn her on?". (You may send the fee after you receive my bill.)

jamon said...

Ahh, so the mitre saw last christmas was a bad idea then?

Christy Lenzi said...


stuart said...

Ha, I'm good at the present thing, see i know what women want and what men want as a gift differs in the extreme, thats why when you guys got married, you got a cordless drill - more power muahahaha, and Mich got bog roll, see how considerate i am?

jamon said...

How could I forget Stuart.

Just the other day I drilled a rather masculine hole with the drill you gave me.

Though I think Miche used the toilet roll rather more quickly than that ;)

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