Saturday, 27 October 2007

Bollocks, God's smoking again.

A new art form has been born - Google-oetry. The exterminator of No More Hornets was the first to write a poem, using only the keywords people have used to find his site. I came across this new aesthetic via Riker's fabulous Google-oem Efflorescent.

I thought I'd get mine in early, before this becomes a meme. I'd never noticed how creepily sexual many of the searches leading to Sans God are. The following is not edited in any way, save for the odd comma;

Bollocks, God's smoking again.

My wife needs shagging,
did I just say that out loud?
Well tell me what do you want to hear,
banana fingered god.

It's worth repeating,
my wife needs shagging,
but my diaphragm hurts badly,
need poo desperate toilet,
over egging the pudding?

The bean lord Jesus,
in the bedsit morning light,
smug bastard, silence please,
creating a fruitbattery.

Scooby Doo having sex,
Scooby Doo is God,
willies are sticky,
wife needs shagging,
where can I get endorphins?

A man's perspective on falling in love,
good breasts, god breasts,
Disney horror, bad breasts odour,
bury your wife under the patio.

By the hairs on his chinnychinchin,
there will be no miracles here,
nice breasts, good snaps,
Top 10 crematorium songs.

Metaphors for husbands,
like Grandmas huge belch,
what do you say?
sorry, my dear,
what culture needs to remove pubic hair?

The feline anus,
gods expression of idea?
Bollocks, gods smoking again.

9 comments:

The Exterminator said...

What a fantastic and funny googl-oem!
This really made me laugh out loud.

I hope you'll link to it in my comments thread. Great work.

jamon said...

cheers - I'm glad you liked it.

Christy Lenzi said...

Ha! Are they all really phrases that people have used to google you? How did you find out?

jamon said...

Google Analytics.

Yes, frankly the goem could have been twice as long (and freakier!) with the data. Truly enlightening ;)

Riker said...

Wow!

Each one of these just seems to get better and better. Excellent work (and, thanks for the link back)!


The neatest thing about all this is that since those search strings do end up back to our sites, these poems reveal a perverted set of traits that our blogs actually possess! Depending on what you actually write in your blog, the 'flavor' of the Googl-oem will grossly distort and amplify it!

Nice work... I'm gonna start tagging people :-p

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