All my ducks in a row

"WANKER! YOU'RE A TOSSPOT, JUST SHUT UP!"

He didn't hear a word.

Small men with big egos tend not to hear this non-verbal leakage. They find themselves much too interesting to listen to others, no matter how loud they're shouted at.

Save the wrist wank under the table, I couldn't have made myself clearer.

Yet this 'uber boss', divorced from the meat and bones of the real world by a multiple factor of arsehole, told us today that he needed to "understand the drivers behind the impetus to improve our practice."

He also wanted the "bigger picture", because he's so busy improving strategy, that the minutiae of improving lives "Isn't his business."

"I need all my ducks in a row" he said. Four times.

If I had hair, I would have pulled it out.

You see, his role is so complicated, so convoluted, that we couldn't even begin to grasp how hard it is for his poor addled mind to grasp the intricacies of our day to day work.

He has a mustache - this is significant. He dyes it the same colour as his hair. Pubic black I think. This makes him more important than everyone else.

Choking him with his neat, pretentious braces, would have been a pleasure. Instead, I smiled and leveraged his "management drivers in the right vector" so that we might maximise the health potential of the local population.

We got on with the real work once he'd left.

Wanker.