Saturday, 27 October 2007

Bollocks, God's smoking again.

A new art form has been born - Google-oetry. The exterminator of No More Hornets was the first to write a poem, using only the keywords people have used to find his site. I came across this new aesthetic via Riker's fabulous Google-oem Efflorescent.

I thought I'd get mine in early, before this becomes a meme. I'd never noticed how creepily sexual many of the searches leading to Sans God are. The following is not edited in any way, save for the odd comma;

Bollocks, God's smoking again.

My wife needs shagging,
did I just say that out loud?
Well tell me what do you want to hear,
banana fingered god.

It's worth repeating,
my wife needs shagging,
but my diaphragm hurts badly,
need poo desperate toilet,
over egging the pudding?

The bean lord Jesus,
in the bedsit morning light,
smug bastard, silence please,
creating a fruitbattery.

Scooby Doo having sex,
Scooby Doo is God,
willies are sticky,
wife needs shagging,
where can I get endorphins?

A man's perspective on falling in love,
good breasts, god breasts,
Disney horror, bad breasts odour,
bury your wife under the patio.

By the hairs on his chinnychinchin,
there will be no miracles here,
nice breasts, good snaps,
Top 10 crematorium songs.

Metaphors for husbands,
like Grandmas huge belch,
what do you say?
sorry, my dear,
what culture needs to remove pubic hair?

The feline anus,
gods expression of idea?
Bollocks, gods smoking again.

14 comments:

The Exterminator said...

What a fantastic and funny googl-oem!
This really made me laugh out loud.

I hope you'll link to it in my comments thread. Great work.

jamon said...

cheers - I'm glad you liked it.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Are they all really phrases that people have used to google you? How did you find out?

jamon said...

Google Analytics.

Yes, frankly the goem could have been twice as long (and freakier!) with the data. Truly enlightening ;)

Rikertron said...

Wow!

Each one of these just seems to get better and better. Excellent work (and, thanks for the link back)!


The neatest thing about all this is that since those search strings do end up back to our sites, these poems reveal a perverted set of traits that our blogs actually possess! Depending on what you actually write in your blog, the 'flavor' of the Googl-oem will grossly distort and amplify it!

Nice work... I'm gonna start tagging people :-p

oakleyses said...

tiffany jewelry, louboutin shoes, kate spade outlet online, polo ralph lauren, nike air max, burberry outlet online, oakley vault, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, nike free, longchamp outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, louis vuitton, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, oakley sunglasses, coach outlet, christian louboutin outlet, tory burch outlet, coach outlet, longchamp outlet online, michael kors outlet online, chanel handbags, cheap oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, prada handbags, prada outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, michael kors outlet store, nike shoes, michael kors outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, red bottom shoes, kate spade handbags

5689 said...

zzzzz2018.10.25
kate spade outlet
fitflops clearance
pandora charms
coach factory outlet
canada goose
red bottom shoes
off white jordan
pandora outlet
louboutin shoes
ugg boots clearance

judi slot online asia said...

I am incessantly thought about this, regards for posting .

chauffeursforyou said...

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesn't disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you weren't too busy looking for attention. chauffeursforyou

game slot indonesia said...

Comfortably, the article post is during truthfulness a hottest on this subject well known subject matter. I agree with ones conclusions and often will desperately look ahead to your updaters. Saying thanks a lot will not just be sufficient, for ones wonderful ability in your producing. I will immediately grab ones own feed to stay knowledgeable from any sort of update versions. get the job done and much success with yourbusiness results!

caesarplay said...

Browsing your blog post is a real excellent experience.

slot online terbaik said...

I’m certainly stricken by the way you discussed this subject. It isn’t frequently I stumbled upon a website with content like the ones you have. Let me take note of your website feed to keep up to date with your hereafter updates. Yet again, I truely like what you’ve got here.

Skin Care Routine said...

Outstanding blog and wonderful style and design.

seasheigh said...

you can find out more high replica bags home https://www.dolabuy.su use this link here