The view from my office desk is stunning. The doorway, coat stand and laser printer lift me up each day, above and beyond my existential futility.
So I've filled the walls around me with photos. Today an associate spots the newest addition to my portfolio and says "Ooh, I like that picture, what is it?"
"Thanks! It's a photoshopped image of the local church yard."
"Hmn, it's a shame, I don't see any orbs." She mused.
"Orbs? What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, spirits. Ghosts."
"Are you taking the piss?"
"No, I've seen them before. They hover over gravestones sometimes."
"Ahh come on, surely not! You're telling me wee ghosties hang around at night ready to be snapped? There's no such thing."
"You can't see them. I can, because I believe in them. They don't show themselves to people without faith."
I lost the will to live after this point.
"Fuck off! Each time I say I don't believe in orbs, does one of them die like?"
"Don't be daft Scott."
Ohh, the irony.
"They're our life energy - it's got to go somewhere after we die."
"Eh? Energy? The energy is dissipated through decomposition surely?"
"No, not that kind of energy. It's like..."
"You mean the soul, don't you?"
Honestly, I could feel my blood beginning to boil. I've always struggled to keep my counsel in the face of flannel like this.
"Yes I suppose. Spiritual energy. Sometimes it gets stuck in this world."
"Come off it. That's utterly ludicrous. Listen, I can provide you with masses of scientific evidence to disprove this crap." I spun around back to the laptop, ready to fire up google.
"You probably could, but my faith is important to me," she said to my back, "it's what I believe."
"But what if you're wrong?" I asked whilst typing scepticism into the search box.
"Don't get me wrong Scott, I'm not a religious nut. I don't go to church, but we all need something right? I've no idea the stuff I'd end up doing if I didn't have my faith."
"So, you'd rather feel safe and secure with your faith than explore the truth."
"That's about the sum of it."
Honestly, sometimes I despair. I really do. I know I shouldn't have gone off on one like I did. But for fuck's sake...